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I'm not a doctors wife - im a doctors GF - but I expect that to change soon. I'm glad you both have found a way to get past the incredible forces that are working against you. She is showing a common attitude of distrust for "anti-mormon" material. You've made good points about not bringing up the CES letter or anything that could be called "anti-mormon. Maybe watch "Going Clear" with her. Courses were developed especially for physicians by business health experts and experienced physicians. I am a non-Mormon woman married to a Mormon manвwhich seems to be a less common scenario in the LDS world. Listen, you are in a bad situation and it just has not come to a head yet. It was more about my own spirituality and our relationship in our marriage. Due to their religious teachings, Mormons do not smoke, drink alcohol or caffeinated "hot drinks" coffee or tea or do drugs.
I only hate one thing in the planet, and that's the Mormon church. What goes on in those sacred temples. As someone starting residency next year and whose father and brother went through it, and whose girlfriend is about to start it I have to say that you can't be mad at him for not sacrificing something to spend time with you - there is literally nothing else to sacrifice; residency is called residency because the doctors used to live in the hospitals, and it was akin to monks in monastery. Whenever you bring something up, they'll say if it's not on lds. But I also know that He loves us so much that He would never take away our ability to choose for ourselves. I adore the show New Normal and one of my favorite episodes is when Bryan decides to go back to church and the Father is so cool with him. This is a very delicate territory, so tread carefully. The most important thing is an open dialogue, as you say, and utmost respect for the other person. I learned that going out and having fun with friends every single weekend was not going to be part of our lifestyle together due to time restrictions, tiredness, etc.